it's not like being vegan would help them restrict more, I figured, since they were observed at mealtimes. but now I see it differently. the staff weren't just trying to force-feed them a high-calorie diet — they were also trying to break unhealthy associations in the brain.
I don't really have any specific ending to this thread, just: those associations can indeed be broken, and while the morality/cleanliness trap can be quite the deep hellhole to claw your way through, it's doable. and it feels way better to come out on the other side. ✌️