quote from Dan Savage https://www.nytimes.com/2023/01/10/podcasts/ezra-klein-show-transcript-dan-savage.html which illustrates why i feel suspicious of this phenomenon and how gendered it is
like ... I have hooked up with guys who are absolutely capable of dealing with this stuff (it's not difficult, it's just that guys are in such a hurry :P)
and ... I can't help but worry that the problem here is that many guys can't conceive of this as a mode of interaction?
idk man i dont understand straight people