1. Curling is for people who like the clacky sounds from croquet but wish they were chonkier.
Curling is the sport of high human development countries because the fundamental activity of play requires a cultivation of fingerspitzengefuhl adequate to the chaotic interaction of micro-friction. Such a cultivation is time-intensive and emerges from environments that support similar fingerspitzengefuhl kinds of human development, such as open heart surgery or mastery of the violin.
Only the fully free and flourishing individual may truly respond to his or her fingertips' feeling.
2. The basic conflict engine for curling is derived from the obscure frictional effects of a technique applied to ice called pebbling. Pebbling is the application of fine water droplets to the ice in order to create minor, random imperfections.