Corn Woman 🌽 @WomanCorn@schelling.pt
Ueda was called away on a sudden business trip. Hell is, of course, other contractors. (Tell me about it.)
When she returns, she brings Yokota, who has design requests from Hell. He liked the multiplying pandas and would like the team's help designing zombies.
A request for more striped animals get the zebra and the giant panda
The panda is accidentally crossed with the starfish leading to a swarm of duplicate pandas.
Ueda, personnel director (?) for the firm curses the pandas to deal with them and is sent to hell. (Is this a joke?)
(The subs have changed everyone's names just to fuck with me.)
They try for the pegasus again, but this time Kanamori gets the design. She ends up making bats.
For follow-ups:
A brid that shines like a gem - the hummingbird.
A bird that makes gems - the ostrich.
An attempt to make the dragon work fails, but at least they get the flying snake out of it.
The seahorse's sex gets mislabeled, but they make it work anyway.
God approves a child's scribble. The team invent the elephant to retrieve it, and the scribble becomes hallucigenia.
A rash of interest in aquatic mammals leads to all kinds of dolphins being designed.
Meido is worried about her squids, so tries to upgrade them to giant size. Unabara creates super-sized whales to retaliate!
Tsuchiya gets the seahorse approved while no one else is watching.
Can we get a viable unicorn?
What if the horn is hollow?
The brain uses a lot of energy, what if we make it really stupid?
Nothing works.
Unabara, finding a discarded horn from testing, attaches it to the narwhal and is instantly approved.
Wanted: animals with cool weapons.
Tsuchiya tries to invent the Unicorn.
It gets osteoporosis from using all its calcium on the horn.
Kimura's Elk is much mor effective, due to its multiple stomachs increasing nutrition absorption.
You'd do much better if it was on a cow.
God orders an animal that's "cute, but not cute"
How about a Koala? They eat poison and poop and the males have two penises. And it has a terrifying growl.
(Approved!)
Unabara field-tests the anteater in the testing island in the Galapagos.
Kimura tries to make a living sausage. Unabara suggests adding defense and turns it into an armadillo.
Every so often they break the fourth wall for a guide to bizarre animals that actually exist.
Kanamori, designer of birds, is very upset about snakes that eat the bird's eggs. She's looking for some kind of defense.
A nest with a bottom entry would allow the birds in while keeping the snakes out.
(Approved: Weaver Bird.)
And then, Revenge!
(Approved: Secretary Bird.)
The crew has another person who's only interested in how the animal looks and another who only cares about how it tastes. I haven't seen their names yet though.
Anyway, the client approves, and the Giraffe is born.
The ping-pong tree won't hold up under gravity.
So I guess it's got to be the deer.
Needs work though. The neck is so long that the heart can't get blood to the brain. It collapses immediately.
Perhaps extending the legs will help?
Unabara has come up with a long-necked deer. It's a simple design, but why not.
They submit the designs to Higuchi, the engineer, for prototyping.
She comes out, menacing, to remind Tsuchiya that she has told him before that the pegasus is not viable.
Mizushima proposes something called a Ping-pong tree. it's telescoping trunk lets it move up and down and sticky balls capture prey.
He's completely ignored the target, which he calls innovation.
Meido likes it. She done designs for carnivorous plants before.
Today, they're working on the client request: an animal to eat leaves that are very high up.
The Chief, Tsuchiya, suggests a Pegasus. Flight will let it reach.
Tsuchiya is famous for creating the horse and now bases all his designs on it.
The opening shows the various members of the design team showcasing various animals.
Shimoda, a newly-hired angel is to be the communications liaison between the team and God. (He looks like a young salaryman, with a hint of dishevelment.)
In the begining, God created the heavens and the earth.
He followed them with light, waters, and the land.
Then he created the many animals that would inhabit it.
Or... that was the plan.
It got too tedious, so he outsourced it.
(This is the actual cold-open voiceover!)
Fidgit: That was the Supreme Being.
Kevin: You mean God?
Fidgit: Well, we don't know Him that well. We only work for Him.
_Heaven's Design Team_
