pretty skeptical of the 'acceptance of poly means top men are taking all the women' narrative; my sense is cis/het women are the least likely demographic to enjoy these kinds of arrangements, it's just if you've got a fanbase of thousands of people you'll likely find people.
---
RT @mattyglesias
I haven’t done an extensive dive into this but @JoHenrich’s books make me think mainstream acceptance of this sort of thing could have very b…
https://twitter.com/mattyglesias/status/1608628747397369856
results of poly being more accepted will probably be more polyandry in friendly communities and a lot of op eds by cishet women about how their partner suggested poly to them and they found it to be a terrible idea (going to be disproportionately common among op-ed writing class)
(i think people underestimate how much of an active ingredient 'i will hit you with this here stick if you touch my women' was in polygamy as practiced historically)
worth pointing out that the mainstream view (esp system 1) of poly genuinely is the same way conservatives view gay people (mostly hedonism and without any real emotional depth) and as this perception changes wouldn't be surprised if it became *a lot* more mainstream.
i find poly activism hammering on this point pretty cheesy but it's worth pointing out that to people who aren't around poly couples it's like ... not obvious at a gut level
poly as a legitimate way to do long term relationships is *very* unpopular among mono people: eg
https://ifstudies.org/blog/national-survey-reveals-generational-differences-in-consensual-nonmonogamy-
given that as it scales up poly becomes less of a thing you decide to mutually explore with your partner and more of a phase transition that happens to your community and sucks anybody who's open to it in well, i think this is going to become a Discourse
support for the all-or-nothing theory of poly!
i am a fan of the all-or-nothing theory of poly
---
RT @Aella_Girl
Some monog people are like "Ugh I tried poly and it was horrible", or "I know poly people and their lives are horrible".
My hypothesis is that they're seeing ppl who are *partially* poly. Full poly people are rarer, and in my data rate their relationships better than full monogs. https://twitter.com/Aella_Girl/status/1630716…
https://twitter.com/Aella_Girl/status/1630779638615248896
i think it's pretty hard to find natural Schelling points other than "you do not get a say over who your partner hooks up with when not with you" and "you can only have sex with your partner"
also, once you start thinking of your partners other relationships as *genuinely something of value*, well...
(there are lots of forms of nonmonogamy people try where you awkwardly avoid your partner having contact with the fact you are hooking up with people and that you like and sometimes fall in love with them, i feel like these are probably doomed to failure)