the problem with the claim 'rationalists/EAs don't care about social norms/skills' is that these things are ... relative to the cultural environment you're in
rats/EAs talk about these things all the time! eg https://twitter.com/Aella_Girl/status/1619760467542687744
the real problem you're complaining about is suddenly finding a space where you're socially clueless
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RT @Aella_Girl
Its hard to describe what rationalist culture is "about"; here's a good summary of the conversational guidelines:
https://twitter.com/Aella_Girl/status/1619760467542687744
also
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RT @RichardMCNgo
A term I've found useful lately is "intellectual empathy": the ability to see the ways that someone else's worldview is reasonable, even when it disagrees with your own.
Emotional empathy is a vital skill, but intellectual empathy seems to be even rarer and more valuable.
https://twitter.com/RichardMCNgo/status/1614254977253531648
these are mostly discoursey norms but there are lots of nondiscoursey norms too
not saying the situations are comparable in terms of harm caused but this definitely feels sloppy and dismissive the way "African-Americans can't speak English properly" does