I honestly think that one of the most instructive things that anyone can do is to hang out in a public space and see what kinds of guys get what kinds of ladies.
Observing this stuff first-hand is too painful to be constructive. People can't handle the egoic pain most of the time.
People understand themselves symbolically. A big part of that symbolic self-concept is informed by the way that society responds to Eros. But society's response to Eros is updated over time.
There's probably something maladroit in the way that I described guys "getting" ladies, so sue me I guess.
@cosmiccitizen yeah I definitely exclaimed “‘get’?!” as I read that. Really gross. It seems that no matter how often it’s said that women aren’t objects, the language creeps in treating us like objects that are passively acquired. 😒
Just a “with” would have helped. “Get with”. Not “get”. C’mon.
Hotness is situational creativity. But when people are seeking for a stable self-concept, they'll hypostatisize a concept of hotness from a handful of encounters and play those as a finite game.
It's important to observe the infinite game of hotness.