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Continental liberalism: [visibly sweating] We have to very precisely preclude every possible consequence of popular liberty of while constraining the revolutionary potential of liberalism, but if we don't accommodate the popular appeal, we'll be inviting a new Napoleon.
American liberalism: YOLO
What I'm saying is that continental political philosophers are the try-hard salutatorians and American liberals are the drunk jocks who have capriciously torn global history from millennia of imperialist philosophy.
The American liberal, who has recently come back from a brutal campaign destroying the government that had been understood as the most powerful in the world, wrote a new definition of universal human rights on the back of a cocktail napkin and in the same evening proceeded to hire a prostitute in a racist manner (???) and passed out from a bunch of old-timey drugs.