Cȯsꭑọ ∴ ọꭑƨȯƆ @cosmiccitizen@schelling.pt

What do you call the compulsion to explain personal behavior to others? "Insecurity" is the emotional base but it doesn't touch on the defense mechanism. 🤔

Welp I'm off to go change all my passwords to foo+SolidGoldMagikarp

Televised competitve keepy-uppy, played in an indoor playground

That your soul will grow nobler as it softens -- yes, even amidst war and cataclysm.

The message of these novels is that the greatest human ambition is to be known and needed, and the best men and women are inestimable sweetie pies.

I will admit that I appreciate the commentary of, "People debauch their most profound commitments because they are bored as shit and they will self-destruct because they crave passionate self-definition more than pleasure or security."

Die

Die

Wishing a very sincere "fuck you" to every young cavalry captain who tries to swoop the earnest ingenue in every Russian novel.

This isn't happening to me at the moment, but it seems kind of psycho to try to snowball people about a big unplanned setback in their working lives. This attempt to therapize people in advance seems like it's rooted in a mis-estimation of what a worker-employee relationship is.

I push buttons for X, X sends me a fraction of the dollar value I add. If X is not going to send me dollars, I'll stop pushing buttons.

I'll work out the emotional details in my own time.

dimwit: You're fired. Collect your things and go.
midwit: "The tides do not only pull the ocean to the shore, but also pull it away. I believe that we are shaped by those tides of both connection and emancipation. And therefore it is with great personal conscientiousness that I have drafted this message to inform you of a great tidal shift within our bond as a working unit. In the words of my personal icon, Martin Luther King Jr..."
topwit: You're fired. Collect your things and go.

I feel that it's weird that my life has mostly been defined by Type 3, a little by Type 2, and I've barely had much of Type 1 at all.

I think this is mostly due to my authoritarian upbringing. I tend not to doubt the teachers and I am very very slow to develop a spiteful relationship to them.

Type 3. The Phantom Tollbooth. This is a lot like the guru of nothingness, but you are denied access to the secret from the outset. Someone informs you that you are not worthy of hearing the secret, & only after you're done the road of trials and the impossible feats of strength -- only then do they inform you that the secret teaching teaches that what you've already done was impossible.

There are at least 3 types of adversarial teachers:
Type 1. The anti-role model. You encounter some asshole who is assholish in specific ways that you choose to precisely reverse.
Type 2. The guru of nothingness. You trek into the wilderness, complete a road of trials, climb the holy mountain, meditate for 5 years at the guru's feet in anticipation of the secret teaching, only to be informed at the end that the guru's secret teaching is that the guru has no teaching whatsoever.
...

You know what the word "assume" means? "ass-ume"? It meaens that I am filled with ασώματα -- a sense of the incorporeality of objects, as in ancient philosophy.

I just stumbled on the grimmest reddit user profile: it's a working mom raising young kids, with a spouse who suffered a major brain injury that has robbed him of most executive function, and this mom is hanging out on subreddits for things like tCDS, nootropics, and lots of similar treatment-hacking. Now the husband is using the tCDS and I have this Beckett-like image in my mind of a family where the traumatized parents are electrifying each other's brains out of desperation. Just truly grim.

We need something like "hillbilly globalism," based around the poor-ass folks from all the mountain hollers playing their old fiddle music, eating low-nutrition high-calorie food, and telling crass jokes.