kafkamacchiato @kafkamacchiato@schelling.pt

you can do whatever in geostationary orbit – they can't stop you!

not that there are no regulations; there are, it's just nobody can physically stop you cause you're going 7000 mph

brooke: organize vibecamp
wookie: liberate kashyyyk from the empire

my friend: i miss her
me: it's on netflix, chill
friend: *starts crying*

have you tried spoon-feeding the problem your solution one step at a time?

i'm so goddamn peckish, i fel like i could eat a horse d'oeuvres

[coming out of the daydream like jd in scrubs] man he'd poast such bangers

the woman whose baby I'm holding: what

today I learned that christian dogma is that animals don't have souls

so why's it called dogma then, huh bible boys?

my friends: dude, you good get in on this sinatra karaoke action, get over here
me: already on it, i'm on my way

i was playing dnd and my players named their hireling "Ålson" and i said that sounds like a name that doesn't fit in the local naming culture but has to be there so he can move to tarrytown at some point and if that's not a pitch perfect reference i don't know what is

the escaping spawn to mining diamonds pipeline

i discover current thing a week or so after everyone else, but then i manage to make a half-decent pun on it

type of guy who reads every "type of guy" tweet thinking "ha, at least i'm not that guy"

(this tweet brought to you by gödel's incompleteness theorem)

you're just a hollow pasta (de rigatoni)

are gender rolls checks or saves? any relation to vibe checks? tryna understand this rpg

me: there was some gross shit in this redpill, wtf?
them: oh that's a known pillbug

the name of painter christopher pearse cranch sounds like someone started to stack different damage types. someone should write a fanfic so we can get "pearse cranch slash burns"