Because he was born on December 24th, and his parents named him Santa.
Rough break.
She collapses with laughter.
But no, she says, okay, it was kind of funny, but she wants to make him happy.
He says to leave him alone, he's perfectly happy the way he is.
This is a lie.
When do people stop believing in Santa, wonders our narrator.
At four? Five? When they find the gifts hidden in the closet?
He was never fooled. Maybe because his gifts can by mail.
For unknown reasons, his parents were never around at Christmas.