how useful is 'would date a trans woman' as a cishet dating shit test?
i'm not expecting this to be a selling point but if your friend is a hotdog seller who tells his friends how gross hotdogs are it does not seem strange that you should doubt the quality of the hotdogs he sells
im a bad person for this
quote from Dan Savage https://www.nytimes.com/2023/01/10/podcasts/ezra-klein-show-transcript-dan-savage.html which illustrates why i feel suspicious of this phenomenon and how gendered it is
" And men approach sex, straight men approach sex without, I think, an awareness of the implied violence, the threat that a lot of women will say yes to sex because they don’t feel empowered to say no, and that can result in a lot of women having sex that they didn’t enjoy,...
that left them feeling terrible, and the guy doesn’t even realize, right, because he’s so thoughtless about it, because he hasn’t projected himself into the woman’s experience."
like ... I have hooked up with guys who are absolutely capable of dealing with this stuff (it's not difficult, it's just that guys are in such a hurry :P)
and ... I can't help but worry that the problem here is that many guys can't conceive of this as a mode of interaction?
idk man i dont understand straight people
@alexthecamel Your hotdog story was not how I thought this post would go. I think 'ok with a trans GF' is a good sign incl. for a cis woman looking for a cis man, but that's not why. (I think it points at handling nonconformity of a sort many cis folks show?)
@alexthecamel too noisy, I'd guess. Attraction is idiosyncratic enough that it doesn't really tell you much. <Only dates blondes> is probably less common than <only dates cis women>, but neither should be straight disqualifying on its own. (Though it might imply they you should take a more thorough look before investing.)
(All IMO, etc.)
my tongue is firmly in cheek here but i find the logic oddly compelling