the problem with the claim 'rationalists/EAs don't care about social norms/skills' is that these things are ... relative to the cultural environment you're in
rats/EAs talk about these things all the time! eg https://twitter.com/Aella_Girl/status/1619760467542687744
the real problem you're complaining about is suddenly finding a space where you're socially clueless
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RT @Aella_Girl
Its hard to describe what rationalist culture is "about"; here's a good summary of the conversational guidelines:
https://twitter.com/Aella_Girl/status/1619760467542687744
also
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RT @RichardMCNgo
A term I've found useful lately is "intellectual empathy": the ability to see the ways that someone else's worldview is reasonable, even when it disagrees with your own.
Emotional empathy is a vital skill, but intellectual empathy seems to be even rarer and more valuable.
https://twitter.com/RichardMCNgo/status/1614254977253531648
not saying the situations are comparable in terms of harm caused but this definitely feels sloppy and dismissive the way "African-Americans can't speak English properly" does
these are mostly discoursey norms but there are lots of nondiscoursey norms too