later on in life, after getting some more experience & calming down a bit re: girls, I found myself actually able to be present and focus on what was happening during a kiss; how I was holding my jaw, how I was forcing my lips to do certain things, and learned to relax and let go

this, naturally, lead to much better results, as I was no longer telegraphing "I am nervous and uncomfortable and am following a physical script I made up without your input"

some people never really move past this stage, which is unfortunate

luckily it's like any partner skill

dancing with a partner, or doing acro, are not very different at all from kissing; it works best when you remain present and aware, don't dissociate out of anxiety, and remain receptive to your partners state and telegraphed wishes rather than moving on your own

your personality is discernable thru the way you do any of these things; if you're nervous and absent in a kiss, why would you be any different in more mundane situations? if you try to force your way thru w/o heed for your partner, you'll likely do that in other aspects as well

many people, girls especially, pick up on this sort of thing intuitively, and make decisions they can't quite explain based on these subtle signals. this can be frustrating to one who consistently finds themselves left behind w/o an explanation, but you're not owed one tbh

best advice I can give for one in that situation is to stop being anxious. work out, learn coordination sports, mb even dance!

most importantly, learn to be PRESENT, to pay attention to the reality of your partner, not your idea of them. SENSE where they are & meet them thereo

oh also check out yoga, wu wei, the Alexander technique, etc. tons of methods for learning to be more present and natural. godspeed