people really do be out here treating questions as attacks due to a cached trauma reaction to growing up embedded in an adversarial culture in which questioning was typically a prelude to a boundary violation
I run into this headfirst constantly; being a voraciously curious person, seeing something I don't understand, including human behavior, makes me want to dig into it until I do. some people don't believe my stated intentions, however, assuming I'm gearing up to harm them somehow
it took me a long time to understand how someone could think this; isn't curiosity universal? doesn't everyone want to UNDERSTAND? eventually I realized that, no, not really; most are content with not understanding many things, and hence don't trust those that aren't. it's tough
when I see my roommate do a household task in a way which makes no sense to me, my automatic reaction is to ask why; I'm not necessarily implying it's wrong! it's entirely possible for it to be somehow better than my way, which is why I want to know! but I'm seldom believed
I do sometimes find it hard to distinguish whether someone's being avoidant bc they don't trust my intentions, or bc they don't know the answer and are trying to hide behind the norms; this is important, bc the latter is not acceptable imo, especially at work. know thyself!
I would love to live in a world where it was considered perfectly acceptable to question everything, and conversely, to either have answers for why you do anything you do, or to straight up just say "I don't know", which is fine! but many seem utterly terrified of admitting this
it's a tragedy, imo, that not everyone grows up in an environment which fosters their curiosity and encourages them to question the world, and themselves; curiosity is a gift to a growing mind, a torch in the darkness. and yet, many seek to snuff that torch out, to control it
one who is led by their curiosity is capable of achieving anything, and it's the job of parents, and later teachers, to show kids how to connect with their drive to understand, to know the world. I hope to help build a society in which this is the norm, rather than the exception
it's the same thing at work, altho this is somewhat complicated by professional norms and work culture. i strive to encourage my teammates to always be willing to question anything & to explain themselves without being defensive, but many are unwilling to "expose" themselves thus