I've experienced this many times as the bf in this scenario, with mixed reactions. some people appreciate being guided back to the main discussion trunk, but others feel annoyed that they're stopped from following their tangents wherever they lead, seeming to prefer the latter
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RT @natural_hazard
bf who holds the conversation state in his head so gf can go on as many winding tangents as she wants and always return home ❤️
https://twitter.com/natural_hazard/status/1430521448377028611
I've found this to be a common conversational style among those w/ADHD-like behavior, esp those on the spectrum & prone to getting very excited about things; personally, I find this type of spastic free association rather tiresome & get annoyed if they don't try to stay focused
this naturally leads to unbridgable conflicts in conversational style, w/ one or more of the parties getting increasingly annoyed, unless someone compromises on their preferences; tbh I don't really find this spastic preference to be valid, as it leads to unproductive discussions
have you ever been in a friend group where the vast majority of conversations are of this mode? hyperactively pattern matching pop culture references, blurring out tangents w/ little attempt to relate them back to the previous topic? some call it dolphin brain, a rather apt term
ofc, the other extreme of very boring serious autists refusing to engage w/ anything that doesn't precisely follow constant-sized logical increments is also rather tedious, as some amount of association and conversational leaps does keep things lively & leave room for creativity
I've found the most interesting people to talk to tend to be those capable of switching between modes, of synthesizing a hybrid between them, possessing the cognitive flexibility to follow creative leaps, but also the discipline to consistently merge branches back into the trunk
it should come as no surprise that horseshoe theory applies here as well; centrism truly is the blessed ideology. I just wish that more people would be pragmatic about their behaviors, evaluating their utility based on their goals, being willing to adjust in the face of evidence.
