yeah, I was awkward as fuck as a teen and constantly made people uncomfortable and didn't understand why, for similar reasons as those in this thread. but the answer wasn't to "educate and inform" people, but learn WHY I was turning people off and learn to behave properly!

using our divergences as an excuse for not acting right is just that, an excuse. ironically, it's an instance of the same thing the thread advocates against, namely patronizing and excusing autists. we're (mostly) perfectly capable of learning and adapting to social norms

and, contrary to many people's beliefs, we are responsible for doing this! you can't just expect the world to conform to your own weird idiosyncrasies; absolutely no one gives a shit about why you're weird, and they shouldn't have to; that's a you problem. this is all excuses.

there are only two options: either you are capable of learning and adapting to the norms (yes, thru more effort than an NT person needs to exert), or you're actually disabled and need professional help, such as institutionalization. there's no middle ground here, sorry.

ok, well, that's not true, on second thought: the middle ground is social quarantine, where you can only interact with other socially disabled autists, who pretend that norms and eye contact are frivolous and unnecessary. but this is not a good option. I've been there. it sucks

it's on each of us weirdos to introspect and overcome our own disabilities, to expend that extra effort to transcend our self-imposed limitations and learn how to mask and fit in; masking is a good thing, and not at all to be avoided. everyone masks.

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RT @pee_zombie
there's a flip side to this, however; that initial disability, forcing intentional efforts, gives you a huge step up once overcome; having learned how to Do The Thing, y…
https://twitter.com/pee_zombie/status/1402299726557503488

I recognize that this isnt the softest kindest way I could phrase this, but young me would have benefited greatly from someone being this honest w/ me; instead my personal growth was hampered by those who would coddle me w/ meaningless platitudes about how it's ok to be different

if a single older weirdo had pulled me aside and gave me a tough love speaking to, clearly explaining the purpose of social norms, seemingly meaningless rituals, and the role of boundaries in interpersonal interaction, it would have saved me so much suffering.

coddling language helps no one but those too soft to be honest with those who need it. raw honesty, to those who are ready for it, is the kindest thing one can do for another.

@pee_zombie good take but IMHO norms are neither good nor bad necessarily; they tend to be useful, but that means always useful to a group.