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there's a bootstrap problem here; if ur infringed upon from all sides to the point where you don't know where you end and others begin, how can you even begin to coherent a self-concept?
people develop hyperstrict boundaries as a way of breaking out of intolerable situations
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RT @michellehuang42
boundaries are a byproduct of healthy self concept, not the other way around
https://twitter.com/michellehuang42/status/1628519455016755204
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it can feel chaotic, to always find oneself at a different point in the cycle, but thru these many iterations an internal cadence is found and a stable state spade attractor arrived at
once a stable self emerges, boundaries can be calibrated more precisely, allowing more in
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it causes a pendulum swing to the opposite extreme, but this can be a good thing, as it creates space within which to breathe and solidify. often this is a cyclic process, oscillating back and forth, as internal regulatory mechanisms are developed