In the begining, God created the heavens and the earth.
He followed them with light, waters, and the land.
Then he created the many animals that would inhabit it.
Or... that was the plan.
It got too tedious, so he outsourced it.
(This is the actual cold-open voiceover!)
Infohazard warning:
I regret to inform you that the opening song is an earworm that is still stuck in my head!