To clarify my k8s cussin', it would appear I blamed flannel unfairly. Well, mostly. It's this bloody thing:
https://github.com/kubernetes/kubernetes/issues/123120
Which means that a router glitching its prefix delegation post-power-failure over *here* can show up as k8s refusing to come up over *there*, in a miracle of intuitive obviousness.
I am begging you, with tears in my eyes, to write some better, meaning existent, diagnostics.
a Schelling point for those who seek one