OK here's a model for this

You approach with ~outcome independence
She feels that, and the approach is executed good-ish, so she has some attraction
But forebrain says no bc of existing relationship
She is afraid of bad reaction on rejection
She rejects and I stay cool and maybe make a relaxed joke
That makes her more attracted and more relaxed bc she knows I'm not a threat, and it's "OK" to touch bc I already committed to the no

I wonder how accurate this is?