So Krauser presents a 3-level model in which he describes courtship interaction between men and women, which I find cool.

Level 1: Sort-of cooperative (the woman appears to want the man to win, sometimes goes along with what he wants

Level 2: But sometimes she tests/creates periods of silence, it looks like she is "breaking" from the cooperation of Level 1

Level 3: But deep down she still "wants" him to pass those tests, navigate the mating dance with grace

Follow

(closing the stray parenthesis))

Perhaps a Level 0 would be a defensive one, "resting bitch face"/"don't talk to me energy".

I really like this framework and it's something which you really can only get by doing the courtship ritual a bunch of times, and failing & succeeding often.

Relatedly, sometimes people complain that modern dating has commodified human interaction, which seems sort of correct. But another frame could be that people who date a lot interact mostly with the archetype of the demographic they date: "Ah yes, her not replying is this facet of the hot-girl archetype, but in parallel I'm also exploring the having-playful-banter-where-I'm-trying-not-to-invest-too-much part of the archetype and the trying-not-to-commit-but-still-fuck part."

Sign in to participate in the conversation
Mastodon

a Schelling point for those who seek one