🌶 but if you can't express yourself calmly, pretty much nothing you say is very likely to be important or interesting. mastering your emotions is the first gate one must pass through to enter adulthood, and only adults can be treated as intellectual equals
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RT @Kirsten3531
1) lots of people prefer to discuss topics in a way that feels emotionally "safe" eg everyone speaks calmly
2) those environments systematically exclude relevent …
https://twitter.com/Kirsten3531/status/1374786171000254467
note that this does NOT mean that children are not to be listened to; there's a difference between listening to, and taking seriously as an intellectual
I'll almost always hear someone out if they say it's important, but I won't take them seriously unless they control themselves
this becomes most important SPECIFICALLY when you're mad, upset, to the point of extreme emotion. by being able to hold yourself in check and communicate calmly, you demonstrate that you are not someone who is easily swayed, and therefore what you say is more likely to be true
some would say this is a patriarchal perspective, that it's misogynistic to consider this mode of expression as superior to the emotional, but imo, it's quite the opposite; how weak must you think woman to be if you don't think they're capable of controlling themselves?
perhaps it points to a weakness of mine, that I don't like dealing with others' strong emotions; perhaps a better version of myself wouldn't mind this at all
& yet, it is objectively easier to communicate with a calm person than one who is upset, so there's more to it than that
in my ideal world, no one would be subject to pressures so extreme they find themselves out of control
everyone would have their basic needs met, there wouldn't be situations which put people under dehumanizing stress
this isn't that world; but poise should still be the ideal