the real killer here is too much self-awareness. when one can't stop examining themselves in every situation, worrying about how they're coming off, trying to design every little movement in advance; this is a form of narcissism, altho a relatively benign one.
no one cares.
---
RT @Virtual1nstinct
The virgin being careful with flirting bc omg what if u creep them out vs the Chad flirt with everyone because it's fun
https://twitter.com/Virtual1nstinct/status/1379864661093453827
it's the great cosmic joke, that we work so hard to make ourselves be a certain way, in the process making it impossible; we never truly have control of ourselves, but by letting go of our need to impose it, we become able to accomplish that which we couldn't consciously.
if your aim in a situation is to just vibe & respond naturally, go w/ the flow, you project that energy out & people pick up on it; this is playful non-extractive flirting
but if your aim is actively to get something from others, be it sex or validation, this tarnishes your vibe
the way to attain mastery is to relinquish control
the way to not be a creep is to flirt playfully, without intentions
the way to be playful is to meet all your own needs so that you're not asking things of others
to transcend your perceived limitations you must first release yourself form your self-imposed obligation to do so. like a watched pot, a constantly surveilled self will never be natural; and, naturalness is the ultimate goal, the one ironically, being striven for