they're effectively externalizing responsibility for managing their emotions to their environment, by equating "me not being upset" with "the environment not being upsetting"

this is understandable, for small children! for adults, not so much

some want their world to be soft

however, this is unreasonable; i'd say, "so long as scarcity remains", but lets be real, even after that, there will be people who insist on being upsetting

so, if the world cannot be made as soft as you'd like your internal environment to be, what is left?

to toughen up.

this is considered massively unkosher to say in many circles, esp. left-leaning progressive American ones; it gets one branded problematic & toxic. a major reasons i came to twitter was to find better circles.

it can be rather hard to encourage personal responsibility nowadays.

some say this dichotomy is a primary fault line in political ideology, with one's position on this subject being rather predictive of their political position; I've observed some amount of this, but its reductive

however, there are certainly collectivist pathologies on the left

i'd want to say, at this point, that I don't want to delve into culture war issues, but unfortunately, I don't think that's possible with this, being as central as it is

so much discourse comes down to "who is responsible for this", & the right answer is almost always "you are"