I used to deeply resent the idea that karma was real, that people can't transcend their nature, ie"once a cheater always a cheater". I was convinced there's were lossy heuristics, that people had control over their destiny. but the older I get the more I see how true they are
people really can't transcend their natures; what they can do is kill their old selves and replace it with a new one. ego death. most people never do this, and hence are never really capable of meaningful change. this was a very difficult lesson for me
but some people manage
ego death is a painful, deeply traumatizing process. no one comes out of it unscathed; it's a one way transition, you can never regain the innocence lost. thru that loss, however, you gain the power of self-transcendence; you master your self, able to truly choose your path
if I had been willing to accept that peoples past behavior was a strong predictor of their future, I could have saved myself much self-induced grief, caused by people failing to live up to the potential I thought they had. I knew who they were, but thought they'd transcend it.
I've recently had this lesson rubbed into my face in a rather undeniable & painful way, and have begrudgingly been forced to accept it. I don't really know where I'll go from here, considering how much of my worldview is upended by the loss of this axiom; people are who they are.
I spent years resenting people for being unable to escape the same patterns which had governed their behavior for years; I really believed they were capable. but in retrospect, they never had a chance, not w/o a death & rebirth. and that's a terrible thing to wish on someone.