👁️ autosurveillant 👁️ @pee_zombie@schelling.pt

we do not all emerge as butterflies

but thru iterated molts, we do approach that structure which best adapts us to our lives

there is beauty to be found in each, but certain ones require a bit more looking

in what ways is the molt of an insect comparable to the shedding of a personality construct? of a sense of cognitive proprioception, the sense-making toolset we use at a certain stage of our life?

do we not leave behind certain lenses as we grow, put down old concepts?

my current self is a utilitarian one, bound by the constraints of family and practicality, characterized by a certain grim determination

but I have inhabited others in the past, other selves which were not like this

and one day I'll likely outgrow this exoskeleton as well

how much can you change before you become a different person? where do you draw the line between your identity and someone else's?

I've crawled out of the husks of previous selves too many times to remember

sometimes this is a one way transition
can't recall being the previous

I imagine, sometimes, attending a party with all of my alternate selves, hearing about their lives, watching their mannerisms, self expression; I can see the choice deltas which would have lead me to each one, but I can't always inhabit their perspectives

how far is too far?

when we fantasize about possible worlds, we let ourselves play personality dress-up, try on various goals & priorities, aesthetic choices; this can be a sort of steam release valve, giving us an outlet for all those what-ifs. each daydream is a simulation of what could have been

remembering parts of yourself you havent embodied in a while can be sobering, melancholy inducing; a reminder of all the people you used to be, the possible futures you chose against. some part of each universe lives on inside you, in the self-aspect which would have generated it

intrusive thot

she wants to know your birth time

the moment you become an adult is when you decide that no matter what happened to you in the past, everything else that happens to you from that moment on will be your own choice, and therefore, fault
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RT @qorprate
In response to a deep psychic pain, you have two choices: wait for "society" (whoever that is) to do something about it, or do something about it.

The problem with "comment 171" and "Untitled" is that they choose the former…
https://twitter.com/qorprate/status/1379945443724038148

that being said if you have the same problems but DONT make excuses for them, fully own your shit, acknowledge you're doing bad and are actively working on it and able to show how, i'll support you endlessly and help in any way i can

but if you're wallowing, fuck you, sucks

i've been there & worse. i'm no stranger to this. but i did it and so can you. i'm not so special that i can do something the rest of you cant. i'm just more willful.

i just cant respect someone that makes excuses for why its ok to be a human trash fire, without working on it

i always get these same objections: i dont understand, you cant fix ADHD, this is out of their control, its problematic and patriarchical to blame people for their neurology, etc etc

this is pussy shit my guy

you lazy-ass kids (even the over-30s, if you talk like this you're a child) want to be pat-patted on the head and be told that its OKAY that you're so dysfunctional you havent showered in 3 days and have only eaten cookies for the last 5 meals

its not ok. you're broken. fix it.

its harder for you to focus? sucks! work harder than the other guy to learn how to do it. the extra effort will make you a better person.

you get easily overwhelmed and melt down? sucks! learn how to manage your emotions and arousal level such that you melt down less often.

ultimately all that matters is doing it; ANYTHING else is just excuses. this is not a particularly popular perspective here in the degenerate West, and I'm pretty grateful to have been raised in a culture which doesn't tolerate this kind of idiocy (post-Soviet)

its all excuses

nah y'all lazy and dont want to do the boring stuff. its really just that simple. don't try to make us feel sorry for your pretend problems

look, we all feel this TO SOME EXTENT. but even those of us with the SAME problems of you learn to grow up and manage this because u gotta
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RT @kazADHD
what people don't seem to understand about ADHD is that certain things aren't just 'boring' for us - they can be borderline painful. the mental eff…
https://twitter.com/kazADHD/status/1380097737077690369

&, laid out in such a way that acknowledges the mass shooting problem in some way (even as a WONTFIX), with context-aware exemptions made based on density (ideally), for inner cities (and the like)

@orthonormalist, @eigenrobot, @PstafarianPrice, whoever else

links are great too

some possible answers are that its not about guns so much as cultural heterogeneity, that the US is too big, that its due to a weaponry asymmetry & if everyone was armed this wouldnt happen. maybe, idk.

i'd really love to see the positive case for gun ownership clearly laid out

but i'm not really sure how to reconcile the abstract libertarian ideal of being able to defend yourself, your family, and your property, with the very real issues of massive gun violence in the US, on a scale larger than basically anywhere else in the world

i do believe in the abstract right to defend yourself without having to rely entirely on the govt, i care about the delegation of certain powers and the ability to retain certain liberties

& i know there are many lifestyles other than mine for which guns are much more important