👁️ autosurveillant 👁️ @pee_zombie@schelling.pt

often, we're left with a choice between social recognition and self-actualization; isn't it tragic that there's a tradeoff here to be made?

I can't fault those who choose the former, but that can lead to a life of quiet desperation

there is, however, a way to get both

this typically generates dissatisfaction stemming from the dissonance between their natures and the social role they've been locked into, held in place by the bonds of mutual observation

consider how judgemental people get when one of them goes thru a crisis & starts changing

childhood is a shielded zone, obscured by the fog of war; they need privacy & the latitude to explore identity space to figure out which configuration suits them best. those who "grow up too soon" are forced to commit to local maxima prior to having received this opportunity

His Dark Materials, one of my favorite book series, the (excellent) TV adaptation of which I'm currently watching, explores this theme through the frame of sin and agency; children are above the former because they are not fully in possession of the latter

they are less Real

and indeed, that is often desirable, both for social cohesion and personal; how can you make predictions regarding, and hence rely on, a person who keeps changing? this is a major part of why children are not beholden to many rules, and are excluded from certain spheres

I often go thru periods of my life when I want to hide or run away, to escape the influence of that last element; I often resent the parts of me the causal chains of which are rooted outside my locus of control

being Observed locks those parts in place

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RT @pee_zombie
consensus reality is constructed intersubjectively thru continuous mutual observation; the ever-presence of surveillers ensures the wavefunction of the status quo can…
https://twitter.com/pee_zombie/status/1489391195721805833

in reality, We are each an emergence characterized by the interacting dynamics of these elements, varying in weight & changing in relative importance over time; some people are primarily driven by their biology, others by their self-concept, and others still by social perception

which is more "me", my physical body, my self-conception, or the me-egregore, the emergent social model of me comprised of the cumulative sum of the beliefs everyone who's ever met me holds?

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RT @pee_zombie
in these moments we channel our self-egregore, becoming avatars of a higher power than our mundane selves; we attain glimpses of a higher plane. we see our lives from a higher dimension, looking down from above, understanding how…
https://twitter.com/pee_zombie/status/1447219377913352199

we become more real when seen by others, less dependent on our own observation to maintain our existence; our identity anchored in tulpic nodes in those who know us

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RT @pee_zombie
Alice, similarly, has a little Bob-model, which she will then use to interpret his statement in the same manner as which he did hers; this is the cybernetics of communication, the structure of the iterated feedback loop by which two agents construct a pri…
https://twitter.com/pee_zombie/status/1466444784134938630

the greatest gift you can give another is a home in your heart

which factors impact ossification dynamics? seems correlated with trauma and generally speaking periods of social upheaval. wars, famines, recessions. perhaps these events are what mark generational boundaries? large cohorts of simultaneous ossification?
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RT @pee_zombie
thinking about future shock today, and more generally, calcification and stagnation of self

why it happens, who it happens to, whether its inevitable

collecting som…
https://twitter.com/pee_zombie/status/1387420773657288705

maybe the paperclip maximizer is just trying to reproduce
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RT @robotson
this has been floating around in my head for a while... it's ya boi
https://twitter.com/robotson/status/1619758217135013888

hardest thing about (cat) parenting is not letting the constant need to say no close up your heart

(not OC, I haven't watched Death Note (yes yes I know))

new type of anxiety just dropped

minor deities and demigods out the wazoo

divinity space is much more populous than previously thought

previous discussion thereof

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RT @pee_zombie
great essay by @whomademecrispy exploring the social phenomenology of an autistic child's growing pains

ht @natural_hazard for link

my own experiences were quite different, as I never thought much about others; even so, I arrived at v similar conclusions
https://crispychicken.cc/2020/06/26/my-struggle-with-literalism/
https://twitter.com/pee_zombie/status/1455626069927677953

my response is here. not sure how best to crosslink this tbh

https://sympatheticopposition.substack.com/p/an-unusual-relationship-with-morality/comment/12305451

really good poast on autistic attitudes towards morality
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RT @sympatheticopp
day 17/30 https://sympatheticopposition.substack.com/p/an-unusual-relationship-with-morality?sd=pf
https://twitter.com/sympatheticopp/status/1619407476163756033