One thing I'm surprised by after spending time with my nephew is how it's changed how I relate to myself and others.

I have a much clearer idea of what it means to love someone just as they are, not because of the value they produce.

I also can more easily access re-parenting-style strategies, e.g. when I'm doing IFS work. Part of my brain always struggled to treat my exile with the love it needed, because the exile was *me*. Or it was "generic child 3".

But now it's often a mixture of me and my nephew. And it's easier to transfer feelings of love to me when we're so similar.

Another win for evolution for making me care so much about my genes in another person.