oh wizened tortle 🐢 @tortle@schelling.pt

ok new locked alt, i will probably be very rude and not accept a lot of requests for a little bit :(.

if you're in my circle and/or we've met irl/1:1 virtually then i'll probably want to add you???
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RT @ohwizenedtortle
OK so the plan is I'll post more horny on this account once I start dating girls irl again, and I'll create an(other) alt for other stuff incl when I'm horny for all my twitter mutuals ❤️. https://twitter.com/ohw…
https://twitter.com/ohwizenedtortle/status/1650610076825321476

wait wth so i can't create an alt using the same email, i need to use a new email?? urgh this sucks
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RT @ohwizenedtortle
OK so the plan is I'll post more horny on this account once I start dating girls irl again, and I'll create an(other) alt for other stuff incl when I'm horny for all my twitter mutuals ❤️. https://twitter.com/ohwizenedtortle/status/1650137497282969601
https://twitter.com/ohwizenedtortle/status/1650610076825321476

Oh God guys I think we've broken Rachel 😭
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RT @rachelclif
every time you pretend you'd love your SO in the same way if they were a worm, you lead an innocent lil worm on

(& mislead an adorable human)
https://twitter.com/rachelclif/status/1650649879524376579

Haha Ivan and I are just joking around, someone should join him. It'd be such a fun little bit if someone interested in dating Ivan asked out this handsome and very knowledgeable guy haha.
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RT @FrostedSapling
@ohwizenedtortle Anyone wanna date me haha jk jk. Unless…
https://twitter.com/FrostedSapling/status/1650709694795718656

Oh someone tell me when is it my turn
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RT @msmegalodon
every few weeks a new man is excavated from the pop culture mines and everyone around me claims that he’s the hottest man they’ve ever seen. and it’s always just some guy (kind of ugly)
https://twitter.com/msmegalodon/status/1650648805203759104

It has been given away 🦅

I have a bluesky invite code hmu if you're interested

What advice would you have for someone (man) setting up their dating profile? Some stuff I've been told: good photos in a variety of places, show your personality in your profile, use Hinge or Coffee Meets Bagel, don't use Tinder, don't start with a bad profile it wrecks your Elo

OK so the plan is I'll post more horny on this account once I start dating girls irl again, and I'll create an(other) alt for other stuff incl when I'm horny for all my twitter mutuals ❤️.
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RT @ohwizenedtortle
Poll (see previous tweet for context)
https://twitter.com/ohwizenedtortle/status/1650137497282969601

I'm also in need of someone to tell me what the male-coded version of a coven is.

Fuck guys I really don't want to post horny on main

My thoughts on the Emma Watson post is that it sounds like she's living the dream and if anyone wants to form a male-coded version of a coven hit me up.

i have no earphones and i must listen (to bangers)

My friends organise a party which always turns into an orgy late into the evening.

But if you just stay in the safe living room area you will be safe from the orgies. You must wear the ceremonial robes to be safe from the orgy. We must chant louder, our prayers will protect u-
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RT @HotForMoot
What if you get to an orgy but you’re not attracted to any of the people there. Do they kick you out?
https://twitter.com/HotForMoot/status/1649965601945972736

Poll (see previous tweet for context)

Are circles working again or should I create a locked alt? (Poll next tweet)
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RT @__justplaying
@kaisoapbox @univrsw3th4rt (also circles are broken and locked alts are not)
https://twitter.com/__justplaying/status/1650133921546338304

I just donated $1500 AUD to help combat malaria.

Because I donated via my local tax deductible EA organisation it doesn't appear on the fundraising page. So in lieu of being able to make the number go up, I'd like some praise please 😇.
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RT @givingwhatwecan
Devastatingly, malaria kills one child every minute. We have just launched our campaign to combat this serious disease.

You can help save lives by donating to our #WorldMal…
https://twitter.com/givingwhatwecan/status/1648453188167806976