hmm, a week without notifications on here and idk how I feel abt it
intermittent dopamine hits don't leave me fulfilled, but neither does downplaying signaling from others that can plausibly be perceived as acceptance/validation
I think the message is I crave more acceptance/validation irl?
as nice as it is to write something that others find funny/clever/insightful, it's not the same as physical touch or hanging out with friends
it's not dopamine I really need... it's oxytocin ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
had three great chats but no human contact tonight, so decided this would be a good day to try microdosing oxy for the first time
conducting human experimentation on myself to extend the frontiers of science (read: to rewire my nervous system to cultivate internal belonging and security)
will report more later