Alistair Young @cerebrate@schelling.pt

I have seen many variants of this meme, and one day, I hope one of these caring folks will have the empathic chops to realize that what makes people mad is invariably _step two_.

Why did we call it "energy conservation" when we could have called it "philenthalpy"?

At some point, I really need to come up with a filter algorithm patch for Mastodon that can spare me the necessity of having three and counting different variant spellings of "tech bro" in my cutlist.

I think about estimates of how long it would take a determined civilization to expand itself throughout the universe, and I ask myself --

Does cancer have fun?

Vice President should be the modern title for the Master of the Revels.

Change my mind.

Also: "Inviting a Communist Party into our market, even as it bars foreign competition in its own, is no one’s idea of advancing capitalism. What exactly do these groups think they're defending? Is this really their conception of the free market?"

I will defend to the death the right of my enemies to believe half-baked economic theories which lead them to subsidize cheap goods for me at their expense, for reasons that should be obvious to anyone not prone to leave free money on the table.

> But now [...] find themselves hoisting aloft the Chinese Communist Party’s banner in the name of “liberty,” arguing for the CCP's right to a free market and free speech.

YES, BECAUSE WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE BETTER THAN THEY ARE, YOU FASCIST FUCKNUGGET.

"But China block our social media platforms!"

Clearly since they are stabbing themselves in the face, we too must stab ourselves in the face.

MR. PRESIDENT, WE CANNOT ALLOW A FACE-STABBING GAP.

I am told that libertarians are badly isolated in this TikTok fight, and how much our kicking and screaming is hurting our credibility in the conservative coaltion.

Gentles all, _fuck_ the conservative coalition.

If you don't have principles when it's inconvenient, you don't have principles. And you don't deserve to have any credibility, either.

For clarity, from now on only measures of weight will be referred to as "tonnage". Measures of volume will instead be referred to as "fucktonnage".

Now, admittedly, this is the midwittiest of midwit arguments, but doesn't banning something because Dastardly Communists might be abusing it seem like the sort of thing that Dastardly Communists do?

I am pretty sure I can land a commercial airliner.

By which I mean push the right buttons on the computers to set the plane up to land itself.

'Cause, y'know, I have only loose theoretical knowledge of flying, but I am a gorram twelfth level master of beep boop.

Rules of thumb for electricians: in sufficiently old buildings, all wiring exists in one of three states:

a) Not current
b) Current
c) Carrying current

Pitch: a historical fiction series about the Duvalier family rule of Haiti.

I call it “Doc Dynasty”.

In _Dune_, the Missionaria Protectiva planted legends of a Messiah for their own later use.

In the #eldraeverse , the equivalent organization planted legends of the Fair Folk to remind people to honor their contracts and not fuck around with the pretty and pointy-eared.

#notactuallycanon