Evan Jenkins @ejenk@schelling.pt

Seems unnecessary. I just use regular Tinder for this.
---
RT @MeyerLabin
A new Israeli app allows you to match with people to fight with. Like Tinder but for arguing.
You swipe; you match and choose the topic you wanna debate, and you go ahead and fight.
Do with this information whatever you like.
https://twitter.com/MeyerLabin/status/1587200185125437440

Oyster, oyster, give me the news
I’ve got a bad case of shuckin’ you

Please don’t try to work out what $169 is 5% of. I’m begging you.

My life is the dril candles tweet but for popcorn

What’s the verdict on whether we’re allowed to tweet Merry Christmas again?

I Pokémon Went to the mailbox

I kinda want to run for President just to see what nickname Trump comes up with for me

Wrong DeSantis

Ron DeSanatorium

Come on, Ron DeSatanist is sitting right there

I hope I have made it abundantly clear that this is a self-parody account.

Folk’s… its happening
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RT @ejenk
Some personal news: I will be in DC November 11–16. Ping me if you want to meet up.
https://twitter.com/ejenk/status/1586777241320656902

When you give your kid a phone and put them in a hammock

I want DeSantis to win the nomination just to see how many times Biden confuses him for Hall of Fame Cubs third baseman Ron Santo.

Hammocks > video games

Sheesh, how dumb are the rest of your friends?
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RT @bethanyshondark
A round table conversation between all of my smartest friends? Yes, please. @bariweiss @mkhammer @bungarsargon @JoshKraushaar https://www.honestlypod.com/podcast/episode/1a645c00/who-do-voters-hate-more-a-midterm-roundtable
https://twitter.com/bethanyshondark/status/1589271932415135744

How much do I need to pay to get a fourth Sneaky Sasquatch?

Video games having only three save slots are antinatalist

$10 per gallon would be progress
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RT @POTUS
Right now, the most common price at gas stations across the country is $3.19 per gallon. That's progress.
https://twitter.com/POTUS/status/1589286485504696320

The new user-provided note feature is really doing its job well here.
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RT @ByBrianBennett
Journalist and former Texas Monthly editor Christopher Hooks @cd_hooks has had his Twitter account restricted after posting this tweet about @elonmusk Elon Musk (the retweet function is disabled for the tweet as well)
https://twitter.com/ByBrianBennett/status/1588928097218273280