Part of this is that I believe it's valuable for me to figure out where I'm heading with my life. I'm implicitly disagreeing that the model of happiness which is like "make sure you have good friends, good enough job, fun hobbies" is sufficient for me to feel satisfied.
I think overall this whole thing is pushing me to "just stay in New York, it is a nice (albeit expensive) default, and just follow your heart even if it says to just stay at home and read all day".
I might try to find people at vibecamp or on Twitter in NYC too, but that's bonus